Process

I've always told myself and others that its easy for me to forgive people. Things tend to roll off my shoulder and on to the floor- never to be seen again. And that's been something I've been blessed with, i think. To not hold grudges and to easily get over things.

Too bad the things I was forgiving were things that could be easily forgiven.

It's one thing when someone does something to you- not knowing any better. They're immature and stupid- the deed is as well and is easy to forget. But its COMPLETELY different when people you admire and love says something that they KNOW they shouldn't have.

There's my trouble...

My family had accused me of doing things that I feel so strongly about not doing...and they went on and on and on about it. Now I haven't talked to them in months. I find it hard to forgive them for doing such a thing. Didn't they know how i felt? how hurt i was when they assumed i was just like every other teenager in america?

It's hard...and I know that I need to, but I didn't expect it to be this hard. I thought i could just...roll it off my shoulder- instead of shoving it out of my heart.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Adds have taken over my comments and i have no idea how to get rid of them!!!!!!!!

Someone, please help me!

Due to James' post about "you know you're turning Canadian when..." i have found a similar list...it's sad- but I have done most of these.


Your children learned to walk in Birkenstocks.

You throw an aluminum can in the trash and feel guilty.

You complain about Californians as you sell your house to one for twice as much as you originally paid.

You only honk your horn if collision is imminent and never for anything else.

You consider something a "hill" (not a mountain) if it doesn't have snow on it or has not recently erupted, regardless of its altitude.

You consider "etiquette" a foreign word.

Most of your friends are from California.

You find a wallet with $500 and give it back to the owner.

You used to live somewhere else but won't admit it publicly.

You've ever ordered a half caff/decaf, nonfat mocha grande with sugar-free cranberry whip (or you know what it is).

You know a bride & groom that registered at REI.

If someone ran your car off the highway, you might drown.

You'd be miffed if the store was out of your favorite brand of water.

Every day is casual Friday.

Hear the word "ferry" and think of boats and long waits.

Know at least eight people who work for Intel or Nike, or used to work for Tektronix.

You think skiing always means being covered from head to toe, in snow or water.

Know that Boring is a town and not just a state of mind.

Have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.

You return from a California vacation depressed because "all the grass was dead."

Remember the date, severity, time of day, where you were, and how long you were out of power and phone service for every winter weather event in the last five years.

Have ever called your insurance agent to ask if your homeowner's policy covers falling trees, flooding, or mud slides

You never go camping without waterproof matches, ponchos, and mattress pads that double as flotation devices.

You believe swimming is not a sport but a survival skill to prevent boating deaths.

You own more than 10 articles of clothing that have the names of microbreweries/brewpubs printed on them.

You think downtown is "scary" because you were panhandled there, once.

You replace your hiking boots with Birkenstock or Teva sandals when the weather gets above 60 degrees.

You believe people who use umbrellas are wimps or Californians, or both.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Oregon.

Is it sad if my generation disappoints me? The more I see of just my senior class- the more I am...disgusted and i go into a fit of...depression. What do we have to hope for with our own kids if we're drinking and having sex and gossiping as young at 13? If we don't set a good example for even the elementary kids NOW, what good can possibly come from our own offspring?

It disappoints me.

But then i remember that God knows what's going on, and that he's put people in my life that don't hurt me and make me sad to be 17...and that He has this worked into his plan. Granted, He didn't want this to happen, but what's the worse that's going to happen? Oh that's right- the earth turns into a Hell-Hole. But at least I'll be gone.

See? I'm in a horrible mood. I kinda don't want to go further with my life...Jesus- take me now...because if i think this is bad, and i'm not gone yet- what's life going to be like when the rapture finally does happen?

That's scary to imagine...

Kinda like how much the US spends on Defense every year... but we won't get into that rant right now...

This whole thing is just making me sad. I should stop while I'm ahead....